Who are you?

Thumbnail image: photo of street art, taken by Eden, Janine and Jim and posted on Flickr. Licensed under: Attribution (CC BY 2.0)

Edie Wakevainen, PhD
Easter 3B – April 14, 2024

(NOTE: Leaflets will include a half-sheet of paper entitled “The 20 Statements Test”—instructions are to complete the statement beginning “I am…” in 20 different ways.)

My mother’s childhood friend read the New York Times obituaries every day of her adult life. When I was young, I thought it was an odd pastime. As I got older, and read quite a few of them for myself, I began to reconsider. In practical terms, obituaries provide facts about the death and accompanying rituals we might want to attend. More than that, however, obituaries provide a window into the identity of the deceased.

Consider one from the New York Times entitled: “Bob Fletcher Dies at 101; Saved farms of interned Japanese-Americans.” The title alone tells us that this man helped those who were marginalized during WWII—and reading the piece reveals that he gave up his job to do so.

A New York Times obituary headline has room for just one piece of identity, as these examples from 2023 reveal:

·       Rosalynn Carter, First Lady and a Political Partner

·       Henry Kissinger, Shaped the Nation’s Cold War History

·       Sandra Day O’Connor, First Woman on the Supreme Court

·       Frank Borman, Astronaut Who Led First Orbit of the Moon

·       Harry Belafonte, Barrier-Breaking Singer, Actor, and Activist

All of these people, and hundreds more that make the Times, are remembered for their actions.

The same is true for stories of living people who do extraordinary things. Just last month, 5 female University of Georgia students saw an SUV fall 135 feet into a creek and start sinking. They jumped in the water to rescue the driver and her two young children before it was too late. Eleven million hits on Google lead to stories of what these women did.

People living and dead make the news because of their actions--because what they do tells us who they are. Actions stem from identity.

Identity. It’s the answer to the question: “Who are you?” In fact, psychologists who use that “20 Statements Test” I gave you to assess identity assert that we know several things about it.

First of all, identity has three parts:

·       Personal factors that make you who you are—characteristics, traits, knowledge, skills, abilities, likes and dislikes, etc.

·       Your group memberships and social roles—some are given (parent, sibling) while others are chosen (Episcopalian, vegetarian)

·       Labels given by others that you claim for yourself

o   For example, when we affirm the Baptismal Covenant (BCP p. 304)—an expression of what we believe and promise to do—we claim it as part of identity

A second thing we know about identity is that it is complex. Given enough time, most people can write more than 20 “I am” statements. Even so, we often ignore identity complexity in others, especially strangers. We easily reduce them to one salient aspect of their identity, which results in stereotyping. Do any of these sound familiar? Doubting Thomas, the introvert, the athlete, the unhoused neighbor, the autistic child…Reducing people to stereotypes means ignoring the beautiful complexity of their identities.

A third thing we know about identity is that it is fluid as we journey through life.

·       We discover new traits, skills, abilities—becoming Zoom masters during the pandemic

·       We take on new group memberships and social roles—joining a group at church, becoming a parent or grandparent

·       We have the opportunity to claim more labels—which brings us to today’s Gospel, in which Jesus said (to the disciples and to us), “You are witnesses of these things”

o   Jesus gave them a new piece of identity, which they claimed through their actions as his followers

The challenge for us in today’s Gospel is to do the same: Claim the label of witness for ourselves and let this new piece of identity influence our actions. To show compassion and love to others, especially the individuals in the community beyond our walls.

But that’s where we get stuck. Why is that? Ironically, the major barrier to claiming this new piece of identity through our actions is yet another piece of our identity. That is the part that naturally leads us to fear and reject individuals from different social groups. And the fear keeps us from getting out in the community amongst people we see as different from us.

Fortunately for us, there is a solution to this identity conflict. I believe it lies in embracing yet another part of our identity, the part we share with all human beings. Created by God, in God’s image, a member of the human family, beloved of God. Acknowledging this common identity enables us to say goodbye to the fear. In the words of civil rights activist Valarie Kaur, we will be able to say to the stranger, “You are part of me I do not yet know.” Are we ready?